Christ Clothes Our Nakedness

The reason that I chose to title this post this way is namely because it’s not fully mine.  It belongs to writer and Christian comedian Jonathan Acuff, author of “Stuff Christians Like,” which is a hilarious and surprisingly convicting book that pokes fun at Christians and some of the things we do.

It’s a collection of essays Acuff has written and posted on his blog, stuffchristianslike.net.  This particular essay, titled “Thinking You’re Naked,” doesn’t employ much humor.  In fact, as of page 192, it’s the most serious essay in the book.

I’ll post all of it, with all the credit for the writing going to Jonathan Acuff:

“I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty awesome at applying Band-Aids.  And make no mistake, there is an art.  Because if you go too quickly and unpeel the the wrong way, they stick to themselves and you end up with a wadded-up useless mess instead of the Little Mermaid-festooned bandage your daughter so desperately wants to apply to a boo-boo that may in fact be 100 percent fictional.

Half of the injuries I treat at the Acuff house are invisible or simply wounds of sympathy.  My oldest daughter, L.E., will scrape her knee and my three-year-old, McRae, realizing the Band-Aid box is open will say, ‘Yo Dad, I’d like to get in on that too.  What do you say we put one on, I don’t know, my ankle.  Yeah, my ankle, let’s pretend that’s hurt.’

But sometimes the cuts are real, like the day my five-year-old got a scrape on her face playing in the front yard.  I rushed into the house and returned with a princess bandage.  As I bent down to apply it to her forehead, her eyes filled up with tears and she shrank back from me.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.

‘I don’t want to wear that Band-Aid,’ she replied.

‘Why? You have a cut, you need a Band-Aid,’ I said.

‘I’ll look silly,’ she answered.

Other than her sister and her mom, there was no one else in the yard.  None of her friends were over, cars were not streaming past our house and watching us play, the world was pretty empty at that moment.  But for the first time I can remember, she felt shame.  She had discovered shame.  Somewhere, somehow, this little five-year-old had learned to be afraid of looking silly.  If I were smarter, if I had been better prepared for the transition from toddler to little girl, I might have asked her this:

‘Who told you that you were silly?’

I didn’t though.  That question didn’t bloom in my head until much later, and I didn’t understand it until I saw God ask a similar question in Genesis 3:11.  To me, this is one of the saddest and most profoundly beautiful verses in the entire Bible.  Adam and Eve have fallen.  The apple is a core.  The snake has spoken.  The dream appears crushed.  As they hide from God under clothes they’ve hastily sewn together, he appears and asks them a simple question:

‘Who told you that you were naked?’

There is hurt in God’s voice as he asks this question, but there is also a deep sadness, the sense of a father holding a daughter that has, for the first time ever, wrapped herself in shame.

Who told you that you were not enough? Who told you that I didn’t love you? Who told you that there was something outside of me you needed? Who told you that you were ugly? Who told you that your dream was foolish? Who told you that you would never have a child? Who told you that you would never be a father? Who told you that you weren’t a good mother? Who told you that without a job you aren’t worth anything? Who told you that you’ll never know love again? Who told you that this was all there is?

Who told you that you were naked?

I don’t know when you discovered shame.  I don’t know when you discovered that there were people who might think you are silly or dumb or not a good writer or a husband or a friend.  I don’t know what lies you’ve been told by other people or maybe even by yourself.

But in response to what you are hearing from everyone else, God is still asking the same question, ‘Who told you that you were naked?’

And he’s still asking us that question because we are not.

In Christ we are not worthless.  In Christ we are not hopeless.  In Christ we are not dumb or ugly or forgotten.  In Christ we are not naked.

In Isaiah 61:10 it says, ‘For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness.’

The world may try to tell you a thousand different things today.  You might close this book and hear a million declarations of what you are or who you’ll always be, but know this.

As unbelievable as it sounds and as much as I never expected to type this sentence in a book:

You are not naked.”

I’ll ask the question Acuff does: When did you feel shame?  Disappointment?  Hurt?

Maybe you still are.  Do you find yourself wondering why life is even here?  I know for me, that sense of disappointment came at an early age, when I would do something wrong and feel like a failure, before, primarily, my mother and my grandparents.

And now, these days, it comes when I fall flat on my face before God, brought there by sin and pain.  It comes when I fail to live up to others expectations of me, and the expectations I have for myself.  I have a bad habit (I have a lot of those, I know…working on it) of putting too much pressure on myself.  And too often, I embarrass myself.

But those moments where I realize I have nothing, where I realize I’m embarrassed, and I’ve failed, that’s when I look up and see that God is reaching for my hand, to pull me up once again.  He’s done that over…and over…and over…and over, and over.  I’ve lost count.  But God has never let me go.  In the days where the pain seems so unbearable, God is there, telling me to lay it all on Him, because He can bear it.  He’s been there.

Go back and read those questions Acuff lists.  More likely than not, you can find yourself in one of those questions.  Maybe God has asked similar, yet different questions, to your heart.  The following are most likely questions I’ve been asked.

Who told you that you weren’t loved? Who told you that without a father in your home that you can’t be a man? Who told you that you don’t have talent? Who told you that you’re a loser? Who told you that you’ll never find love? Who told you that you’d always be a slave to lust? Who told you that you cannot trust me? Who told you that I’m just like every other relationship, and that I will fail you? Who told you that I can’t wipe away every tear, and every pain in your heart? Who told you that you aren’t a Godly man? Who told you that you will never be a good father? Who told you that you have no future?

I’ve told myself most of these lies above.  And they are lies, every one of them.  I thought, and at times make the mistake of still thinking this way, that I would never get away from the sin of lust.  But God told me, YOU ARE MINE! And He will never let me go!

Because I didn’t have my dad growing up, I assumed I didn’t get the “good dad” gene.  And that scares me to death.  More than anything else.  I love my dad, I do.  And I pray that our relationship would continue to grow.  But at the same time, I realize that he failed in a lot of ways, in ways that I don’t want to.  While I certainly forgive him, I know how hard it would be to forgive myself if I made those same mistakes.  One of my deepest fears is that I will be a failure as a father.  God has, and continues to, show me that He is making me into the man and future father that He has called me to be.

So much has changed this summer.  I feel like my heart has been on a never-ending roller-coaster.  And at times the ride makes me want to puke.  I’ve fallen flat on my face so many times, and I’ve felt lonely, as I’ve said before.  But the one thing that hasn’t changed is God’s incredible love for me.  As the seasons of my life come and pass, and people and dreams come and go, I realize that God’s love for me is truly the same yesterday, today, and forever.

So many times in my life I’ve felt naked.  I’ve felt lonely.  I’ve been ashamed, and I’ve hated who I’ve been.  And yet, God looks at me and says “You are not naked.”  He tells me of His love, and reminds me that He is always there.  Because of Christ’s work on the cross, and His saving of me, I am no longer who I was.

I’m no longer a child of divorce.  I’m no longer a slave to sin.  I’m no longer afraid of never finding love, or of being the Godly father I so desperately desire to be.  I’m no longer dependent on anything or anybody except for God.  I’m no longer naked.

And you aren’t either, if you’re in Christ.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done.  God looks at you and says, “I see your sin, I see your shame, and I see every little thing that you’ve ever done.  And I love you.  Come, follow me, and live.”  He does this, not out of anything we’ve done to deserve it, but out of His mercy and love to us.

I’m going to make a reference to last summer now.  I’ve talked a good bit about this summer, but it’s always good to go and remember God’s work last summer as well.

So many of those kids have gone through things that I could never imagine.  Abuse, pain, struggles, lack of love, addictions, and so many other things I can’t imagine.  Going back to that first week of camp, I can remember one night that brought back all of the pain and memories of a past life.  We asked the campers to go and find somewhere quiet and alone, and write, on a piece of paper, something in their past that held them back.  What was it they were holding from God? What did they need to give up?  What was keeping them from being clothed in the love of God?

Sin, addictions, hurt, pain, lust, pride, envy, jealously, bullying…it goes on and on.  As I watched each camper come and throw all of their burdens into a fire, letting them go, I was reminded of how incredible Christ is.  The change He produces in our life is remarkable, and He alone is able to heal us and clothe us.

So I don’t know who told you that you were worthless, and that you don’t matter.  It certainly wasn’t God.  God sees you just as you are: dirty, helpless, and in need of Him, and He, in incredible grace and love, comes to you, to show you love so that you may know Him.  I don’t know your past.  I don’t know what’s going on in your life now.  But as I look at my own life, and I look at Jonathan Acuff’s writing here, I’m reminded of how amazing God is, and how He is able to heal us.  He is our comforter.

When we are Christ’s, we are no longer who we used to be.  We are no longer called sinner.  We are called child of God.

It’s time to give up, and give it all to God.  This world will seek to strip everything from you, and demand that you conform to it, and devalue you and it will not provide the pleasure and the satisfaction and the peace that God can.  It will take everything you have.  You will be made nothing.

God doesn’t see you as nothing.  He doesn’t see you as worthless.  And He most certainly doesn’t see you naked.  When you come to Christ…you are His, and nothing in this world can change that.  Let Him clothe you, and follow the God that will never leave you.

God bless,

Neal E

Christ Makes All Things Possible, and All Things Bearable

This is probably the most personal post I’ve had since I published my testimony and the story about my dad.  I hope that my story, or more, God’s story in my life, is able to encourage and lift you up.  With that being said, let’s get started.

Muscle is usually not a word that’s in my vocabulary.  Never has been.  I consider myself to be in shape, but I definitely could stand to be better about taking care of my body, and I certainly am not going to win a weight-lifting contest.  However, I do enjoy working out, and that’s what I’ll be basing this post on.  For those that know me…yeah it’s weird for me too.  Try not to laugh too much.

A miracle just took place in my house.  Seriously.  I get home, relax for a while, and figure I’ll work out some before I grab a shower.  I do my regular stuff: situps, curls, pushups, and those kind of things.  However, up to this point, I haven’t been able to do more than 33 pushups in a single workout session, without stopping.  I got to 35 today, after doing several other exercises.  And I wanted more.

You ever have those moments where some small event brings out emotion from everything else going on in your life?  I’m joining the club today.  I thought about all that has happened over the past few months, and I mean every little detail.  I thought, as I worked out, about all that I am planning on doing when school starts, and all I’d like to do.  It’s overwhelming.  It’s a terrible habit of mine, and one that needs to stop, but, it happened.

I blogged earlier in June about how Jesus must be everything to us.  And that’s completely true.  But that isn’t a decision that’s made once.  It’s a decision made daily, in everything that we do.  And so many times, I fall flat on my face, humbled, emptied, and broken before the Creator of the universe, and my Savior.  What are we truly dependent on?  If it isn’t Jesus….it’s something else, and it’s wrong.

Back to my exercise…I got to 35 pushups.  I wanted more.  36. 37. 38. 39…..Now, I’ve always been one that I don’t want to end on an odd number.  It’d weird me out and bother me if I didn’t get to 40.  I wanted it.  But as I went to push myself up for that last pushup, my arms and legs gave out, and I couldn’t do it.  I tried again…same result.  I tried a third time, and still, I couldn’t do it.  If you feel inclined to laugh at me at this point, do it.  I did.  Just not at the time.  For me, this was a result of my awful eating habits and years of just not caring.  This is what I got.  Me, at 20 years old, not able to do 40 pushups.  And it broke me.  I laid on that floor, crying.  Not just because I couldn’t do 40 pushups.  But because I realized, at that moment, at how lost I am without God.  It hit me that I can’t do anything on my own.

As the tears came rolling down my face, I thought about everything that’s gone on, and will go on, and I cried out, “I can’t do this, God.  I don’t have anything left.”  I can’t handle my relationships, my job, my finances, my family, my ministry, and all that life, and God Himself, demands.  Heck….I can’t even take care of my own body.  I literally felt like I could not push myself up off the floor.  I screamed that I was done.

Now, what happened next is the miracle.  I didn’t get this great surge of energy, or this miraculous return of strength to do a pushup.  I just knew in my heart that just like all the other times before in my life, God was looking right at me, and was reaching out His hand to pick me up off the floor.  And He did.  I picked myself up.  And I went right back to it.  I got myself in position to do a pushup, lowered myself, and with everything within me, raised myself up off that floor.  I would go on to do 50 pushups today.

It was a miracle because God found me in a place where I could not pick myself up, and He picked me up, and allowed me to keep working.  When I needed one pushup, He gave me 11 more.  As I sat and relaxed, I thought about all the times God has done that.

When my family was torn apart by divorce, and I wondered if I would ever feel that fatherly love, God showed me His love.  He provided His loving hand, and gave me the most incredible, loving, Godly, and supportive grandfather I could ever ask for.

When I found myself angry at the world, He called me to calm down in Him.  Nothing in this world or the next is outside of His control.

When I was 8 years old, He drew me to Himself in Christ, and showed me what it means to trust in Him.

When I struggled to find friendship, He called me to Himself, and showed me what a friend I have in Jesus.  Years later, He would provide, and continues to provide, Godly brothers and sisters that encourage and build me up, and love and care about me no matter what happens.

When I struggled to maintain relationships with the other side of my family, He reminds me of the grace and forgiveness He’s shown me so many times.

When He found me 12 years after salvation, in rebellion and sin and doubt, and wondering if the life in Christ was truly better than the life without Him, He brought me back with open arms, and showed me what real growth and maturity looks like.

When I sin, when I doubt, and when I hurt, He continues to bring me back and restore me.

When I seem to lose everything I have, and when I lose the things and even people that matter the most to me, He shows me what is truly important.  And it’s not a thing, it’s not a relationship with anyone else, it’s not school, it’s not family.  It’s Him.

On that Thursday night in Virginia, when everyone else was either sick or incapable of leading, and all was thrown on me, I cried out, “I can’t do this, God.”  He took my hand, and said “You’re right, Neal.  You can’t do this……but I can.”  And 20 boys put their faith in Christ for the first time, not out of anything I did, but all because of what God did.

July 7, 2011—-I can’t bring myself up off the floor to do 40 pushups.  But He can.  And He did.  Not by a supernatural physical power, but out of His love and His affection for me.  I heard a voice saying “It’s okay, I’m here.  And you can do this.”

And I did 50.  When we have nothing left, God is more than able to fill us up, and allow us to do more than we ever thought we could, through His power.

Maybe that’s where you find yourself tonight.  You’ve tried and tried to fix it yourself.  And every attempt at success, at popularity, at looking and feeling good, it fails.  Every attempt at holiness fails.  I can speak from experience…as long as you continue to trust in yourself, it will continue to fail.  But we have a marvelous and unfailing hope in Christ.  Through Him, all things are possible.  Whether it be getting through the death of a loved one, dealing with a relationship that is strained.  Maybe your unemployed and wondering how you can possibly provide for your family.  You may not be able to….but God can.  Let Him use you, and do what He asks, for it will never be too much, and the results will be nothing short of amazing.  Maybe you’re just sick and tired of feeling worthless.  You know the gospel.  You know the Bible, and you know you’re in sin.  But you just don’t know a way out.  That way out is Jesus.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, what you’re going through, or what you’ll have to deal with in the next 50 years.  Our God is an awesome God, and He provides salvation, forgiveness of sins, and an eternal, everlasting hope in Christ Jesus.  Life may not be easy, but we can place our trust in the one who’s been there.  We can place our trust in our Savior, who we will see one day, face to face.

Maybe you just can’t do one more pushup.  Maybe you’re like me.  You’re out…you don’t have anything left.  Overwhelmed by the burdens of the world, and possibly even what God has called you to do, you feel like the world is crashing around you.  That’s not the case, for the same God who holds the world together is holding you.  He won’t let it crash down on you.  It may be tough, and it may seem impossible, but there is nothing that is impossible with God.

I’ve felt more lonely this summer than I’ve felt in a long time.  The difference between now and ten years ago is that my first instinct is to run to my heavenly Father, who welcomes me with open arms each time.  The loneliness fades away in the light and love of God.  He is good….in every season of life, God is God.  No amount of death, hurt, pain, unemployment, sin, divorce, break-ups, hatred, disasters, and disappointment can change that.  He is God….and He is faithful to His children.  He loves you, more than you could ever imagine.

God bless,

Neal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY6O2pj9Wtk