grace

The Golden Rule: The Gospel and Relationships

/ Neal Embry / Leave a comment

Matthew 7:12, commonly known to as “The Golden Rule,” is one of the most famous verses in all of Scripture, and is often used by Christians and non-Christians alike.  It’s easily found on coffee mugs and posters, plastered across the American landscape.  But what does it actually mean?  What was Jesus getting at when He said it?

In case you’ve forgotten the Golden Rule and so shamed your parents and elementary school teachers, here it is:

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

When was the last time you actually treated someone as you would want to be treated?  This morning, in traffic, did you treat the guy who cut you off like you’d want to be treated?  When your kids didn’t listen to you, and refused to obey you, did you treat them the way you’d like to be treated?  When your coworker didn’t exactly keep their promise to help out with that project that was due a week ago, did you treat them like you’d want to be treated?

We all fail to treat others as we want to be treated, because there’s a fundamental disconnect in what we think we deserve, and what we think others deserve.  Our pride would have us believe we are worthy of grace, while others are only worthy of law.  Our pride clouds our eyes from seeing our sin, but amazingly, we can see the sin of people we don’t even know!  We have good excuses, but “they” have a problem.

None of us want to be treated with the law, that is, with true justice.  We all wish for grace.  But when it comes for us to give grace, we don’t treat others the way we want to be treated.

Let’s say, for example, you cut someone off in traffic because you’re in a hurry.  We can all relate to this, and if you can’t, I’m going to assume you’re either under the age of 16, or you’re just abnormally nice behind the wheel of a car.  But, if you’re like 99% of us, you can relate to this.

When you cut someone off, and they honk their horn, is your first thought, “Oh man, that was sort of mean…I probably shouldn’t have done that.  I’ll be sure to slow down and apologize to them?”  Probably not.  Our first reaction is more along the lines of, “How dare they!  I’m late to work! I’ve got to get to (wherever you happen to be going).  They ought to drive faster!”  We want them to identify with us, to treat us with grace, or unmerited favor, when we offend them.

But if they cut us off, all you-know-what breaks loose.  “That psycho cut me off!”  “They ought to be arrested!”  When we see them pulled over half a mile later, we smile and whisper, “Justice,” even though, were we the ones to get pulled over, we’d be full of excuses, hoping, wishing, desiring that the police officer would let us off the hook, “just this once.”

Do you see the hypocrisy here?  We desire to be treated with grace.  But we don’t at all desire to treat others with grace.  Again, children are a perfect example here.  Anyone who’s ever worked with kids knows they want grace, not law.  “Please, I won’t do it again!”  “I’ll be better, I promise!”  But when their older brother twists their arm, or their sister steals their toy: “Mom/Dad…make them stop!  Ground them/put them in timeout/spank them!”  While children may grow up in a lot of ways, they’ll never grow out of their innate, sinful tendency to want to receive grace while desiring to dispense law.  At least not by their own strength.  And neither will we.

Jesus commands that we treat people with grace if that’s how we want to be treated.  We’ve established that grace is how we want to be treated, but we find it impossible to treat others with grace.  So how do we obey what Jesus says?  We have to look at what Jesus has done.  We have to see the gospel.  We have to believe the gospel.  And we have to be changed by it.

While we treat others with law, Jesus treats us with grace.  When we had sinned against Him and earned nothing but eternal hell, He left His heavenly throne to come rescue us.  When we despised Him and went after false gods, He drew us back to Himself and gave us the eyes to see and despise our sin.  When we lived for ourselves, He lived for us.  When we went after death, He died for us.  When we ran away from Him, He gave us the repentance and faith needed to come back to Him.  When we were condemned by the law, He freed us from that condemnation with His grace, at the cost of His life.

So, when we see we have no shot at saving ourselves, and we trust in Christ to be our Lord and lead us, and trust in Him as our Savior, and we receive His righteousness, and we trust and rest in His forgiveness, we are empowered, by the gospel and the power of the Holy Spirit, to show this same grace to others.

When we’re tempted to treat others the way we don’t want to be treated (law), we remember that it is by grace God has drawn us to trust in Him as our God.  We remember that God has declared us righteous, not by our law-keeping, but by Christ’s law-keeping.  We remember that it is by the blood of Christ that we are declared forgiven, and are, through faith in Christ as Lord and Savior, adopted as children of God.  We remember the grace we’ve received, and we show it to others to be more like Christ and to glorify Him.

So if you’re struggling to show grace, you need more grace.  You need more of what Jesus has done for you.  You need to rest in that, and trust in Him to help you be who you are.  And in those moments when you’re tempted to respond with law in your relationships with others, you can remember grace.  And you can be like Jesus.

Lord, may we remember that we are saved by grace.  May we treat others with that same grace.  May the gospel change us from the inside out.

God bless,

Neal E.

Note: Treating others with grace does not mean that you have to endure abuse, or that you don’t have the obligation to report a crime.  Grace destroys sin, it never enables sin.  It is not ungracious for you to separate from someone who is hurting you.  It is ungracious to not pray for that person or to desire their eternal condemnation.  It is not ungracious for you to report a crime, such as sexual assault.  It is ungracious for you to not care about innocent people who are being hurt when you can do something to stop it.  I didn’t include this in the main text, as it would take away from the main thrust of the message, but we must not think that showing grace means enabling sin.  Grace means doing what needs to be done to restore that person, and sometimes that means separating from them, or calling the police, or a private conversation that gets to the heart of the issue.  Pray to God for the eyes to see how we can show grace to everyone, even to those who hurt us.

On Running to Christ

/ Neal Embry / Leave a comment

Matthew Henry once said, “It is not humility, but infidelity, to put away the offers of the gospel, as if too rich to be made to us or too good news to be true.”

When I was young, I wasn’t a perfect child, because, well…those don’t exist.  Like any other young kid, I was terrified when I did something wrong, not because I understood how much it hurt my mom or my grandparents, or whoever it may be, when I disobeyed them, but because I feared punishment.  So instead of drawing near to my leaders, I ran away.  I still have a clear memory of hiding on the playground one time just because I had said something mean to another kid and didn’t want my teacher to find me and punish me.

It is not natural for us to run toward the person we offend.  We withdraw because we are fearful.  We fear punishment, loss of reputation, loss of relationship, and a multitude of other losses.

And yet the God of the universe, the only one truly worthy of fear and trembling, commands us to run TO Him when we sin against Him.  1 John 1:9 tells us we can confess our sins in repentance before the Lord and trust Him to forgive us and help us change into the men and women God’s called us to be.

But running toward God doesn’t make a lot of sense, because, after all, God is holy, and we are sinful, and our sin merits His wrath and eternal destruction.  And of course, those things are true.  But God is also a God of grace that desires all people be saved (1 Tim. 2:4).  We know we can repent and trust God to forgive us because it is God who gives us repentance and faith (2 Tim. 2:25).  This is amazing news.  This is ridiculously good news–He whom we have most offended, He who has the right to condemn us for all eternity, welcomes us back with open arms, no matter how bad we’re struggling.  And He doesn’t just invite us back and wait on us–He runs to us, like the father in Luke 15.  He takes the initiative to seek us out and grant us repentance.  While we absolutely must repent and trust Christ, it is by God’s power and grace that we can do this.

Notice what is missing from 1 John 1:9–qualifications for forgiveness.  Jesus offers forgiveness for the “little” sins and the “big” sins.  Whether you stubbed your toe and cursed, or whether you murdered someone, Jesus is ready to be your Savior.  And while this doesn’t mean there are no consequences here on Earth for your actions (such as prison for the murderer), it does mean you don’t have to fear condemnation from God, because you know through the cross of Christ and His resurrection, your sins have been paid for and you are trusting in Christ for your salvation.

We need to run to Christ.  Let all talk of Jesus only wanting those who kinda sorta have it together end.  Jesus came for the weak, for the sick, for the sinner that cannot get it together.  And let’s be honest: do any of us truly have it all together?  Certainly not, especially not compared to a holy God!  Jesus came and died because you don’t have it together, because you are not and never will be good enough to stand righteous before the Father, because you are a sinner in need of a Savior.

If you’re a little sick, you take a little medicine.  You probably don’t even have to go to the doctor.  But if you have a terminal illness that you know can be treated, you run with abandon to the nearest hospital.  So why, when we are struggling with sin, do we run away from the Savior?  When we’re really struggling with sin, when we’re falling more than we usually do, that is a time to run to Christ, not away from Him!  The last thing God wants is for us to try and do His job–this is pride of the most deceptive kind, because it comes under the guise of humility, masquerading as godly sorrow while, in reality, it is unbelief in the promises of God.  O God, save us from this pride!

The grace of God never tells us that our sin isn’t a big deal.  The cross leaves no room for cheap grace or cheap love making little of God’s holiness and sin’s gravity.  The cross shows us costly grace that exalts God’s holiness and man’s depravity.  The cross also shows us the goodness of God, for “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Jesus cried, “It is finished!” What does that mean?  It means the work of salvation is done.  You, believer, do not have sins to pay for.  That debt was settled 2,000 years ago.  All that’s left for us to do is trust Him to forgive us and help us follow Him in new life.  J.D. Greear, in his excellent book, “Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart,” says that it would be wrong for God to hold the sins of believers against them, since Jesus has already paid for them.  We are saved because God is gracious AND just–gracious to not punish us, but just and holy to punish Jesus in our place.

So let us run to Christ and trust His grace.  His grace is sufficient.  His resurrection proves the Father accepted His sacrifice for ALL of our sin.  Trust Him.

God, may we not run away from you when we fail.  May our faith be strengthened and made more confident in Christ.  May you continue to change us and help us be holy as you are holy.  May we share your grace with the world around us.

God bless,

Neal E.